It is a sweet life

So I'm not sure how to react, but I'm crazy with joy. My fingers twitch and wiggle together like they are trying to start a fire with little sticks. I just can't believe it yet. I feel so normal, and yet so privileged that I can't contain the excitement, can't hide the good news, and can't reveal that my breasts are so tender it just stings Mother! Literally. I have a precious little tiny human somewhere inside me, and I wish I could stick my belly out to prove it. Part of me holds back my five weeks of growth for a more grand finale just around the corner, exposing beautiful results and lingering the attention span. I don't want to be selfish, but this is the best Mother's Day present one could receive after trying for years with no results. Truly, I am blessed.
Steven and I are preparing for new, larger living arrangements, cars with car seats, and fresh nutritious meals three to four times a day. He reminds me to eat my mango, drink disgusting grapefruit juice, take a yogurt or go-gurt to school along with a fresh green bell pepper. One the way to school he called frantically to let me know he forgot to wash the pepper. Love.
So I don't know when the pain starts, but everyone says it will come. I haven't had any morning sickness, headaches, or other Momma issues, but I'm not worried. It will all be worth it, should it arrive. Doc says only Tylenol from here on out. Might as well not take anything at all since my body is practically dependent on Excedrin and Bayer with triple doses of caffeine. No worries, I could use a good detox anyway and plenty of massages. Doc says I have to take a different drug for my sky high LDL numbers; something from category B. I am hoping my previous drug X didn't have a negative affect on the pregnancy. I quit it in March simply because I ran out and forgot to refill it on time. Another blessing.

This week I just finished rereading The Giver because I liked the memories it brought back in 8th grade. I remember loving the ending when Jonas takes the infant Gabriel to Elsewhere for safety. I kind of wish I was that clever and quick in my youth. I feared my peers and succumbed to my surroundings. I think I would have failed miserably being a free and independent character in that story. I'm definitely concerned with what is known to be right and wrong, and to do it. The "ah-ha!" that now arises to me is that people are not that smart after all, we don't have all the answers, and we must rely on instinct or our inner conscience, or the Spirit or Holy Ghost to guide us through this sweet and painful life. Rarely do we step back and try to see the whole picture, for it is difficult to do especially as our timeline is far from over. But to glance at what could be, to imagine the pleasant future filled with family, love and sincere emotion, that is a dream to look forward climbing to.