Perturbed with crossed wires

A day of mental unrest. That is what today is. My legs are forced to work, but their own brains tell them not to because something is not right. My whole body reacts that way, pulsating with demands of working backwards, sideways or in secret- anything except working normally. I first noticed it this morning when I paced my room looking for stuff to get ready with, not focusing on just item or sequence of steps to get out the door; instead looking in cabinets and closets that contained nothing I needed. School rolled on through like I was on auto pilot, yet I noticed I sat for more than 25 minutes in one setting. That is a record braking event for me. I also sat at the lunch table and had spaced my lunch. I just sat and breathed in the dirty old smell of a teachers lounge that never changes. Another teacher thought I was hungry and in need. She kindly offered her jello salad. I snapped back into it and realized I was supposed to be reaching for my Lunchable snack in the fridge three feet from me. Thank goodness I remembered. At home I avoided people as much as possible when walking Max. I normally do this anyway, even without the giant woofing rover. Still, people attempt to speak to me as I nervously hold back a bottle rocket dog ready to launch. Fragments escape my mouth. "He's never bite, he wants to sniff you to get to know you, he spooks easily." The logic that escapes as strangers eyebrows raise in fear, disgust, and contempt are simple words of sincere regret, " I apologize" and " I'm sorry for the trouble" for there is no good excuse for an apology.

What's a Max good for?

Someone posed the question today, "What is this dog good for?" I immediately responded, "Good for nothin" a cliche my mind grabbed instantly knowing it had heard it too often. Honestly, my dog was good for numerous acts. Back in the day, the English Mastiff breed is popular for guarding kings and queens. They would idle around palaces consuming leftover feasts of pheasant, boar and goat. Their intimidating appearance is not as bad as their ferocious bark. A powerhouse of deep growls increasing with some turbulence and earthquake aftershocks, should you be standing directly in their path. Their giant jowls hide nasty yellow teeth, that actually resemble an American Alligator, but have more shape of a slight crescent moon. If you missed the jowls flapping violently at you, that is because they are engulfed in slimy white foam, a cousin of drool. Now my beautiful and fine, young Maximus is not the average Mastiff. He is the cute runt of the family, weighing only 175 lbs compared to 248. His skinny greyhound shape body and legs don't seem to match his massive cranium and head, but his soft, silky ears and enormous brown eyes make up for any flaws you might mock. My Maximus cuddles and warms your entire body, should you feel like spooning on a cold night. Perhaps your toes are chilled and you left your Ug Boots at the cabin. Simply place your precious feet in between his giant hind legs and you will do him a favor as you cool him down. My Maximus protects me as I walk down dangerous streets of Lake Las Vegas and also as we walk in solace out in the desert together, avoiding rabbits and birds. He is most loyal as he always remains by my side, even when we play hide and seek he will never give up finding me. Basically, my Maximus is good for everything but preying upon, since his diet is made up of strictly smelly dog kernels with medicine as additives. He is warmth, love, loyalty, forgiveness, truly a best friend.

Looking for a new good book, but found the local newspaper instead

Home Sweet Home

I have so much to be appreciative for. How does one show proper and adequate thanks for blessings?

I live in a beautiful resort on a lake with pristine weather, heated pools, and luscious views of desert mountains lined with 50-foot palm trees.  Tucked away behind the Ritz-Carlton Hotel, now operated by the Ravella ( A Dolce Hotel), is Luna di Lusso a new condominium complex intended for guests to Lake Las Vegas, but for me it’s an amazing deal of sad depreciated value. My 500 square foot studio is a small, but comfortable, and is easy to maintain. I have always had a comfortable and secure place to live, I sleep easily and endlessly as needed, and I float on without worry or disturbance. There is so much turmoil around the world, and yet, here is a different world that seems to be cut off from humanities troubles. I often wonder if this community will get it’s turn someday and suffer natural calamities, simply because we are due in time. It’s like hitting the Uno Attack button luckily without receiving any cards. Are we that lucky? Are we better prepared? I would think not. We could not and will not survive if flash floods take out our barriers, consume our water systems, and pollute our drinking supply. We would perish without Lake Mead. When will terror rein down? Perhaps it has in other ways: tourism shortage. People cannot afford to stay and play here in such a poor economy; this affects jobs at hotels, restaurants, and constructions. I hate to see all the vacant homes and foreclosures driving to work. Poor business and less residential taxes incoming mean the state government will accordingly have to make some adjustments: more job loss.

So how do I show gratitude for what I have? Perhaps by giving back to the community? I believe I do that for individuals, supporting local businesses, and through my job at my school. I spend countless hours before and after school improving lives through tutoring and lesson preparations. I write letters, picket and speak for what I believe in. Then I wonder, does anyone care? Is anyone listening? Why is no one responding? Then I am back at home gazing at the sunset, eating crab cakes and salad on the balcony with my toes in the air, trying to mentally organize this other stressed life of mine just twenty minutes down the road.

The Camel

After reading the first chapter of Hiroshima I got to thinking about American culture, Japanese culture and the fictional novel “The Giver”.  How should a society survive in peace?

How easy is it for individuals to remain so strong, proud and loyal to their country and emperor through violent war? After the Hiroshima atomic bomb a Dr. Hiraiwa repeated how fortunate he was to be Japanese and have his spirits uplifted at the thought of dying for his country and the emperor. Can any American do that willingly simply because he places so much trust, respect and love in his homeland today? It is hard to find any man or woman that will do something without gaining profit from it somehow.

How can we live in peace one with another on this planet if people continue to choose sides, argue opinion and control by force? Why do there have to be sides? Why can’t we all be on the same plane? I think that is how God intended it to be. What we need now today is spiritual reverence, guidance and obedience, not soldiers of warfare preparing for eliminations. President Gordon B. Hinckley mentioned that to win the battle we need good strong men with machines, science and math, but to win the war we need a recipe for peace.

I have a relative that finds it difficult to live peacefully with others, due to the head-strong leadership abilities she was born and raised with. She continues to analyze relationships, situations and conversations to the finest detail while judging and correcting accordingly and persistently. Often offending others with her controlling behavior I sat down with her one evening to better understand her perspective. I questioned her beliefs, reasoning and religious philosophies. She wanted to believe in positive thought in the universe, much similar to Zen, and absorbing energy through her surroundings. Unfortunately for her, she could not control her dissatisfied thoughts and pessimistic lifestyle, and therefore always radiated and expelled a miserable attitude. She often put blame on others for making her feel the way she does. Part of this religion was to believe that others could influence you, but you have the power to push influence away and grasp only what you want. She still does not fully understand the power of thought and lives an unstable life. How can we help others that reach out for friendship, but continually lash out and hurt everyone around them? Why can’t people find peace?  Perhaps the adversary is such a large part of individual’s lives since he has crept in slowly by habit over years of practice. If people don’t believe in opposition, then they refuse to accept it is really there harming them.

This brings me to the point of “The Giver” by Lois Lowry. What an eye-opener to new perspectives. Perhaps society can adopt good practice from other cultures. It would be a good idea to have assigned jobs and placement for workers, especially since many Americans don’t work, hate their jobs, or have difficult times finding employment. This option would be pristine for this stereotype. They would always have work, it wouldn’t be overloading and they wouldn’t lose their job until their “time” came for dismissal.  I suppose the only real problem would lie in them actually doing the work and being grateful for a job.

This is one reason I admire the Japanese. They are so intelligent, appreciative and respectful for all things, people, gods, earth and everything shining under the sun. Japanese all have a similar belief and adhere to it honestly without violent attack.

In America, so many philosophies are freely used and accepted, that they don’t coincide one with another easily. Many views and values are shared, but Americans don’t hold strong to one belief. They often switch to another belief that fits their current lifestyle better, or simply open their own religious sect. This inconsistency proves that people make ideas and religions work around them and their lifestyles, and not the mind working and abiding around a common good belief. I believe this results in liars, hypocrites, and selfishness, for people are always getting what they want, not what is needed.

4/4/2011

My students and I just finished reading “How the Camel Got His Hump” by Rudyard Kipling. The students had some excellent questions and comments regarding the Camel and his idleness. Why did the Camel choose to be idle all of a sudden? Why did the man force the other animals to work three times as much to make up for the Camel’s laziness? How are we idle like the camel?

One student shared, “My sister and brother were playing the whole time I was working and that wasn’t fair. I was angry that they didn’t do their share. My parents were still glad I was a hard worker, but I didn’t want to clean the house all by myself anymore”.

We had just finished learning about communities and how they help each other. One student mentioned that some people don’t work in the community at all. Some are homeless and some don’t like work, so they stay at home. “Well, what should you and the government do to fix that?” I asked.

“We could feed the homeless and give them homes and jobs” One student responded.

“Let’s give everyone food” interrupted another.

 “But that is not fair, that is like the other animals working extra hard for the lacy Camel to get his home and food back.” Said another student.

“We could make people work before they get their food.” Another argued.

And so the discussion went on of how to properly feed and care for members of a mixed-up community.

Why not let the Camel suffer and eat thorns and prickles, the lowly wild and free handouts from Mother Nature, for the rest of his life? Because what happens when the Camel decides to mate and reproduce little camels just like him? I think that this problem and outcome has long come and passed here in America. What a mess we have on our hands.

Unacceptable

4/2/2011

Mr. Governor Sandoval,

Isn’t your statement “Now let’s get to work!” rather ironic? This is unacceptable. This is equivalent to fraud. The jobs, training, and money once invested and now stolen were fought by willing determined students to pursue an education, pay their way through college and/or take out loans, and strive for master degrees for further professional development; and yet, during elections our leaders make promises to keep jobs “work” and find or extend resources to make more jobs to improve our economy. Firing and laying off hundreds of qualified and worthy teachers is not the answer to balancing the budget and improving life. Shoving more students into classrooms and raising the student to teacher ratio is not the answer to allowing voice to be heard and expressed by our youth. Cutting salaries while the cost of living rises is not balance. We all should be appalled by the actions and routes presented by state officials these last few weeks. Unfortunately, our nation continues to support a large growing welfare system that doesn’t work. We continue to feed and dish out money to individuals that do not attempt to find work or self-employment in their community, or to individuals that are forced out of work and must rely on food stamps or a significant other. We also take business to other states and countries instead of filling seats in our own states. Instead of searching out other possible avenues for income and revenue or reducing and eliminating insignificant programs, we narrow-mindedly see only what can be taken away from good working people here at home, where the heart should be. Why waste what we put so much into! Why give free handouts to idle people? Why throw away our investments? We should focus back on the home, sustaining and educating families that stay together, work together and support each other and their community.